I’m dealing with a little heartache these past few days. Moody. Sad. Emotional.
Recently, my mom told me I was selfish for my birth plan (it was unsuccessful) and that statement really hit me hard. How can a woman be selfish when she’s given her body/life for an unborn child? How can a mother of a mother say such things? Especially, an incredible mother/grandmother.
There you have it, I’m selfish for wanting a natural, powerful delivery.
We prepared for 12 weeks using The Bradley Method. This natural childbirth method is partner led. It’s amazing if you have a partner that is willing to go through 12 weeks of classes with you. It’s informative and helps your partner learn about your feelings/emotions/needs. My husband was not 100% into it but he tried VERY hard to be. None-the-less, our natural delivery wasn’t so natural after all.
This boy had other things on his mind. Like, a c-section. He probably didn’t want to ruin his cute shaped head!
Life is funny. Our best laid plans. Well, I’ve learned that flexibility is vital to life.
There is something in the pit of my stomach that I just can’t shake these past few days. Just pure sadness. Not sure why. The obvious isn’t really bothering me: work stress, family stress, financial stress… It’s something more and I can’t put my finger on it.
I hope it passes. Maybe it’s the fact I’ll be 29 in a few weeks and I feel very unsuccessful. It’s hard to write, but it’s true. I guess I thought by now I would be financially secure and on my way to financial freedom but it’s quite the opposite.
I find comfort in this quote, “We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence, then, is not an act, but a habit.” Aristotle
The promise of tomorrow is never here. I realize I am blessed. I just needed a moment to vent and find comfort in the imperfection of life.
Thank you for reading and supporting my blog. You have no idea how much it means to me.
An imperfect, selfish, crazy-in-love mom.