When It Rains, You Know The Story

Attachment parenting, Family, Marriage, Mother, Small Business

Alright, my friends, one day I’m going to blog about how perfect my life turned out and how thankful I was that I went through the most struggling times of my life.

But, today, the difficult times
do not seem like lessons as much as extreme set backs.

As of today, all of my very important bills are late, as in: credit affecting, stress eating, pit in your stomach, late.

Oh, you know the feeling? Nice. Keep reading then. No? Never been there? F-you, then. No really, f-you, you lucky, lucky SOB.

Hey, I have to let my anger out some way, right? Now, when tensions are high and bill collectors are relentlessly calling you can imagine the stress level in the household. I’d say we {Marvell & I} try our best not to discuss/argue in front of Z. It’s not our poor baby’s fault his parents are a fucking joke & shit show.

Speaking of Z. He is loving this beautiful Arizona weather! He runs out every morning and plays outside while the dogs go out. He says, “side” “side,” with those big eyes and cute little smile! I mean, how much more perfect does it get?

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As I let the dogs out this morning, Z pushed his way through the doors to the “side” and I definitely did not have time for him to play outside; I needed to get ready for work and deal with my broken down Jeep. Oh, YEA, my Jeep broke down last night. There was not enough time for him to enjoy the “side” this morning. BUT. I stopped. And I just watched him run & smile & laugh. And I thought to myself, he has no idea his parents are a shit show. All he knows is that we love him, kiss him, read to him and take him places.

So, I let him play. I let myself be in his happy moment (because my moments are definitely not as happy). And, for a moment, I felt better.

I haven’t blogged much lately because I’m so disappointed in our financial situation and its felt unbearable. I really didn’t think I had much to offer you. Then, I thought, I wonder if I could read about a couple that went through this stress successfully… And how they managed through… And thought, well, maybe that’s me!? Maybe I’m writing my woes so another couple can learn from our setbacks and stresses and see that we came out of this. For the best…

All I know is I’ve felt like giving up —multiple times these past few weeks. I’ve felt lonely and scared. I’ve also felt that I couldn’t bear another setback. But, as life happens, we’ve had yet another set back. And sadly, it won’t be our last. But, I’ve always said- with Weight Watchers that I’ve learned to be successful and kept my weight off because I’ve learned to over come set backs.

Ahhhhhhhh! Goosebumps.

Man, that is a good connection for me.

I thought I had a mini business plan in order but that fell through; or, I got cold feet. None-the-less, I am not moving forward with this exciting plan…. But, I really think I have an opportunity to personally help people with some of my skills and talents! So, I will begin brainstorming on how to make money through my passions and skills!

Until then, I’m financially struggling but need to keep it together- for myself, my family and that little toddler that loves me unconditionally… Even if I am a shit show parent.

Xoxo,

Am

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2 thoughts on “When It Rains, You Know The Story

  1. I hope things get better. Trust me I know exactly how you feel. You just have to try and not stress and make the best out of the situation don’t let it get you down. Yes money is important but you obviously have an awesome husband and son and you all are happy, healthy and loved so let that be the center of your focus when you’re in a bad mood over bills. You are not alone!!! We are struggling as well and I’m sure many others out there are too! Keep your head up and stay positive, it will get better 🙂

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