Easter Bunny Sunday

Attachment parenting, confidence, empowerment, Family, Mother, Parenting, Uncategorized

It’s been so long I almost forgot how to start a post. Life is busy and crazy and so damn demanding. I just want a full 24 hours to pee by myself and not respond to one email. NOT ONE. 

I’m riding the waves of motherhood and a full time college teaching career coupled with a part time teaching gig at another college. I drive to 3 different campuses each week. It’s utterly insane and I love it. I can’t help to yearn for the day I’ll find my tenured track teaching position and settle down.

These past few months that I’ve been gone (from you- blog) I’ve feel these words:

Happiness, joy, laughter, sweet, caring, friendship, excitement….

But I’ve also had some really terrible situations happen that have left me feeling…

Lost, isolated, sad, uncomfortable, depressed, uncertain, out of control, fleeting, inadequate…

Is there a chance PPD can happen when your child is well into toddler years? I feel like the world is sitting on my shoulders and trying to suffocate me. 1 step forward and 5 steps back. 

I mean, I’ve accomplished some really amazing things… But they’ve kind of just been an almost there success… I feel like I’m part of the Myth of Sissifus.

………………………………………………………….
Wow. If I want to have a blog and followers I should probably FINISH BLOG POSTS FROM Easter! 

All I can do is laugh. I wanted to just throw this one away, like, oh well [she] tried. But then I thought, nah, they can see I’m a total mess just like everyone else. 
Half finished

Half inspired

Half irritated 

Half assing this thing called life.

Do you feel you’re half-Ing shit, too? Well, dang, you’re NOT alone.

Since it’s been SO long. Here’s a few pictures from our lives lately. 

Oh. And. I’ll post a REAL blog post this week. Don’t hold your breath 😁

Stolen Time

Attachment parenting, confidence, empowerment, Family, Marriage, Mother, Parenting, Uncategorized

First of all, Happy Birthday to my momma. 

  
Everyone has the “perfect” mom…. And I’m here to say, I have the “perfect” mom. I mean, we get in our fair share of arguments but I wouldn’t trade her in. My mom was once a young mom with three children who too most likely felt like a huge failure. 

Why, why do we [women] find fault in like everything? Now, let’s backpedal a bit and bring you to my mom at 24 years of age. Marriage falling apart, 4 year old boy, 3 year old girl and infant baby boy. 24, people. 

Maybe you’ve been there, maybe you’re there now. I’m here to say, I admire you. You feel like a failure and like you’re never going to muddle out of the mounds of debt and depression and these children need you… And you need a partner; however, s/he is gone. I think my mom would tell you: this sh!t is hard and it’s not going to get easier. She would tell you the pain is heavy and the stress is intense. She would also say the most painful part is losing your children. She would say the courts f’d up and gave her children to the wrong parent. She would tell you her children suffered tremendously because of her. 

She blames herself. Everyday she tries to make up for stolen time… She can’t. It’s gone. 

For so many years I cried for my mom. I wanted her in my life, daily. I knew what I was missing out on; but, more importantly, I knew what my siblings needed- their mom. I, at the age of 6, was certainly no replacement for a mother. I tried. 

A moment of clarity came over me as I sit in tears on my therapist’s couch. WHY AM I STRUGGLING IN MY MARRIAGE AND PARENTING? I knew some of our marriage issues were unearthing through my rotten childhood. My husband has a lovely family, solid foundation. I, very very cracked. I told her of a story (unrelated to myself) about a 2 year old boy being forgot in the car in the middle of Arizona summer and he died. I literally cried all night for him. Young, forgotten child in the car. How horrifying. How lonely. How sad. My therapist said, “Amber, do you know why you can’t shake that”? I stared, confused. “You’re the baby stuck in the car, you’re waiting for your parents to save you, comfort you, protect you. They didn’t.” 

They didn’t

Maybe, they just couldn’t. Two people interested in the same thing: 3 children and ripping apart the other person. Divorce. Hatred. Dirty laundry. Attorneys. Judgements. Weekend visitation. It’s all just f’d up. 

They couldn’t. 

I knew my parents would never work it out. I knew they would never be amicable. I never even wishes or prayed for it. I only prayed my life would not reflect theirs. I didn’t want to go through the pain again. 

How did my mom survive that pain? My son went to the ER one night and I thought I would lose it, ear infection. Drama. How in the world did my mom go years without holding, squishing, smelling, and cuddling her little lug bugs? 

So, now, here I am – 30 and trying to get past all this yucky childhood stuff and pray to God we don’t put our son through any of this… But there are still so many families out there that can relate to this pain. There is so much hurt, so much anger. If I can give you one piece of advice from a child who desperately needed both parents to be civil and kind…

Don’t deny your children their right to see the other parent. They will resent you. 

Don’t deny your children their right to visit with their grandparents. They will really resent you. 

Don’t talk bad about the other parent in front of them. Just don’t do it. 

Co-parent. Make decisions about their lives and focus on them. Not YOU. 

We just finished a holiday season and every year I’m so thankful it’s over. I can’t help but think of all the pain I had each Christmas without my family. Now that I have my own little family the holidays are bright; but, the past is sometimes hard to shake and I have to continually remind myself that I am in charge of my happiness and no one else. 

Whatever you do, do it with love in your heart. 

   
    
   

The Process of Finding HappinessΒ 

Attachment parenting, Beauty tips, Body shaming, confidence, empowerment, Mother, Parenting, Student loan debt

I’ve been silent for months now. So much has changed in my life and it’s really hard to process it all.

Three months ago I was miserable. I was working long hours outside of the home and hating every minute of it. I climbed up that proverbial corporate ladder, well, mostly… to the third step… Okay, maybe the second one, stay with me here! None-the-less, I hated life. My happy place was leaving work and teaching. I teach community college communication classes and LOVE every minute of it. Well, minus the grading.

I knew I couldn’t leave my corporate job, I was making too much money and ironically not enough. We were barely making it due to the mounds of debt I took on through my bachelors and masters degrees.Β You know the story. The sad, sad story.Β 

And then, one day, I told my husband, “I can’t do it.” I’m giving myself a few more months of this and I’m done. I said it out loud. DONE.

I was scared. I had no plan. I have so much debt, so many bills. Yet, I spent my days being so miserable and feeling suffocated. I. Hated. Life.

I was making my family miserable too. Sorry dudes. Then, the sky opened and I landed a job at a major university in their communication department. DREAM JOB. There is one little problem… Less, much less money.

Let me take you back to when I was in the middle of my misery pleading to God to help me. I said, “please allow me something that I love to do and I can share my talents.” I forgot to mentioned that I wanted millions along with it. So, I got the dream job.

I also asked my therapist for help. She knew I was miserable. She could see it each time I visited her office. She asked me if I felt successful, I always said “no”. Why! Why don’t you, Amber? I said, how could I? You should see the red in my bank account each month. How can I claim success when I’m in this state? I didn’t get it.

I went to see her last week. I sat there. Completely mesmerized that I was the happiest I’ve been making less money. I made it. I’m successful. It’s real.Β 

She asked me about my classes and students and I literally cried. I love my life. I’m so happy. I’m using my skills in the field I love. Students call me professor- and I turn around! Haha, it still makes me giddy.

Life was stressful and overwhelming when I hated my job. I just had to let go and let God.

What have you been holding on to? A relationship? A painful memory? A dreadful job?

How can you find your happiness?

What is happiness to you?

I found mine; go get yours.
All my love.

Β Β 

Follow Your Heart

Attachment parenting, empowerment, Family, Marriage, Parenting, Uncategorized, weight loss

We’re all busy, right? 

I am. I’m a wife, mom, full time manager, part time instructor at a community college, a friend, a daughter, a writer, a dishwasher, a laundry goddess and last but not least a terrible cook. 

How do I have the time? If I had a nickel for all the times my friends say, “how the hell do you do it!?” I’d be rich! 

I don’t know. But, let me tell you what I’ve lost because I’ve “done it all.”

Time.

Memories.

Moments.

Years.

Z turns 3 in November. I turn 30 in September. The year of “3”. I told myself 2015 will be my year of change. I will not continue to be “too busy”. I’ve told my son on numerous occasions- I can’t, mommy has to work. Sorry, off to work. Internally I say, sorry, I’ll make it up to you… of course, Z can’t understand the concept of “make it up”. 

But, I won’t make it up. I won’t because he’s only going to take his first step once. He’s only going to say his first word once. He’s only going to smile and coo “once”. These moments are gone. Some of them I’ve witnessed, but most I’ve missed. I missed them so I could pay off credit card debt, pay off car payments, pay for Internet, pay for cable, for for loans I took out to pay off debt. I’ve worked so hard so others could be successful. 

In our couples therapy my therapist asked me if I thought I was successful. 

I said no.

God, have you seen my checking account? I’m NOT successful.

No mind I put myself through college. I wasn’t supposed to go to, statistically speaking. I graduated with a Master’s two years later. All by 23 years of age. I lost 55 pounds on the Weight Watchers program and lead hundreds of people to live happier, healthier lives. I encouraged my friends to love themselves and take risks. Fall in love. I emotionally supported my husband when he couldn’t take another day in Corporate America. I let him take a risk. I climbed the ladder in Corporate America after numerous rejections and I have taught at a college for the past 5 years. I’ve ran 3 half marathons and 1 Ragnar. I had a labored for days with my baby and had a c-section to seal the deal and bring him into this world. I’ve given up so much to provide for the people I love. And, now, when faced with a deep, profound question: are you successful? My answer was: NO.

My life has always been defined as being poor. Lower than lower middle class. I’ve always been taught that success=money. Why, why oh why is this woman telling me that I’ve gotten it all wrong? I need to look at success from a different angle. I can’t. Or, I feel like I can’t. 

Since that day I have seriously tried to tell myself I was successful. It’s been hard to accept that I am successful since I don’t have much to show for “it”. The successful competition is fierce. I mean, how can I even compare? How can I convince the world Amber Green is successful? Shit, I’m probably the 1803502747920847 person on your Google machine. 

Or, maybe, just maybe it doesn’t matter what others think of me… Only how I feel about myself? Compared to myself?

If I’m not “successful” why am I wasting my time working? If I’m not becoming “successful” and doing the work I was put on this earth to do, what am I doing? Working to live, not living to work. Who does that anyway? Live to work?

“If you love what you do you’ll never work a day in your life.” That’s always been a crock of shit to me, not gonna lie. But, maybe I’m just a pessimist and people really love what they do and jump up before their alarm and do it.

If that’s true, I feel that way about teaching. It’s amazing. I feel like I’m empowered and empowering people. I’m giving them the gift I thought I would never have: information. College & Weight Watchers. Both accomplishments that were never supposed to happen. I should be an uneducated fat woman. I’m not. Instead I’m the opposite. 

  
I’m ready to do this. I’m ready to feel success by following my heart and sharing my gifts. 

I am starting to find if I let go and trust it will all work out things seem to go better than I could have imagined.

How can that be? Let go and let God.

Is that success? 


Motherhood, you’re disgustingΒ 

Attachment parenting, Cloth diaper, Family, Mother, Parenting

That’s what we’re told anyway. 

NO? 

Really? NO?

Okay. Thanks but no thanks. 

For what? Your simple little opinion of motherhood. The naysayers. The others. The non-mothers. The righteous mothers. Or, just the righteous. 

You know who I’m talking about. The ones who make THIS a story. 

All day every day

Moms everywhere are forced to explain themselves or justify their actions. Like it everyone’s business how long we nurse, diaper, co-sleep, when we potty train, when we take away the paci, when we.. Blah, blah, blah. 
Look you assholes, it’s our business. 

Now, if we let you into our world, don’t be an asshole. If you must, practice this old saying: “treat others as you wish to be treated”. Or, take it one step further, “treat others as they wish to be treated”.

As a mom, I’ve done things I NEVER thought I would.

  1. Nursed and peed. Numerous times… What else would I do? Kid is hungry and I pee occasionally, ever try to hold that in? 
  2. Allowed my child to vomit on me, I’d rather clean myself than mop a floor. I wasn’t sure of my other options in the moment. 
  3. Cleaned poop out of the tub, twice. 
  4. Slept in pee. It’s like water, right? I just moved right on over… It was really a win-win. 
  5. Eaten kid left overs. Why? I have no idea- waste of calories on food that isn’t even luke warm. Stupid.
  6. Nursed in public, with no cover. Judge me. 
  7. Give up myself, daily. 
  8. Work endlessly. 
  9. Worry often.
  10. Love, amazingly. Or, to “you” maybe disgustingly. 

That’s right. I’ve done all these things and more. “You’ve” (they’ve) tweeted/facebooked/IG comments of disgust over half of these things. But, guess what: it’s REAL. REAL F-ING MOTHERHOOD. It’s what amazing moms are willing to do, everyday. 

So, step off your douche-bag soap box. We’re not going away. Those real social media photos, they’re not stopping either. Be thankful we’re here raising the next set of hopefully non-douche bag children. 

This weekend was full of disgusting moments. Puke, poop, fever, cleaning and repeat. 

We have a few sweet moments, though. 

Sunshine Breakfast.    
My first cotton candy. [not pictured: the other cotton candy, he wanted both colors]

  

  

Finally, after blood, sweat and tears of a sicky weekend Z wanted to watch a movie in the Jeep. So we sat – in the drive way- in the Jeep- with the iPad. So what?

 

Friends: pray for a clean slate and no more puke. 

Until next time, nurse your kid on the potty. ✌🏽️

Love + Love = Love

Art, Attachment parenting, confidence, empowerment, Marginalized individuals, Marriage, Mother, Parenting, Publishing a children's book, Small Business

If I’ve learned anything it’s to pass on love to my child. My husband and I don’t spend any time explaining who should love who with Z. To us, love is love. 

My parents divorced at a young age and went their separate ways. Dad remarried and mom, well, didn’t. 

I’ve never been asked why my dad remarried but believe me I’ve been asked why mom never remarried. 

I used to lie about why.

  • She isn’t interested in dating
  • She doesn’t really want to be in a relationship 
  • She doesn’t have time! Hello, 3 kids, single mom! 
  • She likes being alone-  duh, doesn’t everyone just want to be left alone!?
  • She’s overweight, maybe when she loses weight
  • She wants to focus on herself

Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. Lie. You get it.

Truth? 

She’s a Lesbian.

That’s right. I said it. I’m not a lier anymore. Man, that feels great. 

I’ve lied to everyone in my life until I met my husband. Oh, yea, and the drunken night with some of my college besties and our need to share all. Yea, that happened. Anywho……

Why the lies? “No one cares.” People would tell me. 

Oh, yea. Sure. Tell the world as a teenager that is coming into herself- I could barely contain my period let alone the fact that my mom was a lesbian. Then, I got so used to all the lies that I never went back to those people and corrected them. I just brushed it under the rug. 

Until now. I just took a leap of faith. I wrote a children’s book about Z’s two grandmas. 

Loving My Grandmas

I’m so proud a publishing company invested in me and my family story. I’m absolutely thrilled that Z gets to have representation of his two grandmas. TWO grandmas in love.

In love and that’s okay. It’s really, okay!

He will never have to lie. He won’t have to make up stories about Noni & Grandma. He won’t have to feel ashamed. He will just be able to love and enjoy them. Isn’t that what having grandparents is all about!? 

We think so. 

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You can buy the book and support the movement! Equality for all. 

Buy here! Loving My Grandmas

Support my passion and advocate for marginalized couples all over the world! 

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5 signs you’re a mom and probably shouldn’t be…

Attachment parenting, Cloth diaper, Family, Marriage, Mother, Parenting, Publishing a children's book

I woke up oh so early this morning.

4 AM Wake up! For what reason? I don’t know.

Well, that’s not entirely true. Z started whining in his sleep, “MULK” “momma, Mulk.” So, naturally, in my sleep I roll over, pop out a boob and nurse. But, this morning it woke me up and I couldn’t fall back to sleep. I started thinking about being a mom and how much I need to learn.

Here are my 5 signs I need to grow up but probably won’t:

1. If you don’t take a shower at night and you play outside with a toddler, you’ll wake up itchy in the wee-hours of the morning. Fact.

2. After work I take off my nice, expensive work clothes and politely lay them on the ground in front of my closet. After my 4:30 AM shower this morning, I stood on said clothes to find comfy yoga pants. Winning.

3. I walked into the bathroom and found my dirty clothes on the ground – next to soggy cloth diapers, eh, someone’s mom might pick that up one day.

4. I looked back in the shower and realized I’ve been taking a shower with empty shampoo bottles for months. Where is that mom that cleans this shit up?

5. I’ve been sneak eating Marvell’s red velvet birthday cake all week and then coming out of the kitchen with baby carrots. What? Don’t judge me.

There you have it. #momfails of the century. When will I turn into my mom? It seemed that she always had shit together.

Hey, at least I’m up, showered and have eaten a bowl of cereal and a bite of red velvet before anyone even noticed.

That’s winning in my book.

Speaking of book: ITS DONE!

“Loving My Grandmas” will be on bookshelves soon! I approved the proof of the book and 100 copies are being sent to my house. I’ll soon have a link to buy the book. I can’t tell you how excited I am! Here’s a sneak peak of the cover….

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Like me on Facebook as well!

Loving My Grandmas Facebook page

Grinchy Holi*days & New Years Blessings!

Attachment parenting, Family, Outdoors, Parenting

I took a vacation from job #1, job #2 (winter break), & job #3 – which means my blog.

I’m excited to recap on our last few weeks & give you some tips of traveling with a spunky toddler!

End of the year{s} are bitter sweet, aren’t they? A time to reflect and be thankful. That’s one of my favorite parts of the season. Oh yea, and the smell of cinnamon. I know, nutty right? I love associating smells to the time of year.

I had a quirky-fun post about how I’m a true grinch and hate the holidays… And SOMEHOW it DISAPPEARED! I was so mad! So, instead of rewriting it, I took a few days to feel sorry for my blogger self and then I moved on. I figured lists of why American consumerism/need for instant gratification and how this is ruining our holiday can be found on another blog. So, it’s gone and here I am writing something much different days after Christmas.

We live in beautiful Phoenix, AZ but spend our Christmas holiday in Jackson, Mississippi. Bye-bye 70 degree Christmas. To top off the travel, we fly STAND-BY. EKKK! Those of you that buy regular tickets, how do you do it? It’s so unaffordable – for us.

This trip was lucky. My husband left a few days before us & traveled smoothly and made all connections. Z and I left a few days later and we too made all the connections! Win-win. Now, traveling with a 2 year old isn’t ideal- on ANY level. However, I was thankful we didn’t have to sit in an airport for hours and hours waiting for flight after flight. I checked my luggage and brought the necessities! I always travel with my Bugaboo Donkey Mono. I’m not exaggerating when I say it saves my traveling life! Amazing stroller for the win. See that side cart? Yea, be jealous! I always get, “oh, my goodness, that stroller!” Other moms are looking at me like, “I hate you and that awesome stroller.” Envy, a cruel thing. It’s worth EVERY penny! I’d buy it again in a heart beat. Take that recalled finger splitting Graco.

Recipe for traveling with a happy toddler:

1 iPad – with Frozen, Let it Go!

1 “nacks” – don’t correct your toddler that can’t say (s)nacks.

1 empty sippy cup – you’re welcome TSA.

1 diaper bag with baby stuff and pain meds, for you. Can you say back cramp?

1 red eye flight – Z slept most of the time! Yes!

Oh, and check yo bags, b&tches! You don’t need that shit. Check them!

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Ahh! Look at the photo where Z is just a wee-bitty thing in the stroller! Melt.

Darn boy is getting SO big! They do grow up. I need a time capsule.

Here we are, Mississippi, surrounded by all Marvell’s friends and family and it couldn’t be more perfect. No drama, just family that loves each other. No annoying questions or judgement about life or decisions, just pure quality time. Isn’t that strange? It is to me! I mean, I haven’t even seen some of my family members and they are sending me cruel messages with a nice, “F&&k you!” Seriously, got that one a few days after Christmas. Tis the season. That’s my family. Go figure.

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Since I’m a self-proclaimed Grinch I didn’t buy anything for Christmas. I figured I didn’t want to travel with it & Z would get plenty. And, of course he did. I also didn’t mention “Santa” or anything that would refer to the jolly ol dude. So, to my surprise, Z saw the big guy, pointed and said, “Santa!” O.M.G. I’m ending my grinchy-hood now. It was the cutest thing!

My hubby grew up on a farm so Z is loving being a temporary farm-boy. The life, right? Look at these beauties!

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Someone pointed out that one of these bad girls was pregnant, hehe, I had no idea. I figured it was just a little chunky. Kind of like me after the holiday. just a little chunky

Speaking of chunky, these could be one of the reasons! Amazing sugar cookies! Sugar Cookie Recipe. I followed her icing recipe, too. I added food coloring to separate bowls to get creative! I also sent my husband to the store to get cookie cut outs. He came back with a plane, train and car… Merry Christmas! πŸ˜‚.

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Well, my vacation ended yesterday & I should be in sunny AZ. But, standby wasn’t as good to us and all the flights are booked until Tuesday. TUESDAY! I couldn’t make it to work today and tomorrow. I pray I’m back for work on Wednesday! I figured it was God’s greater plan to keep us here longer, maybe???

I hope you had an amazing Holiday. Hanukkah, Kwanza, Christmas and everything in between!!!

103,101 reasons why your toddler is…

Attachment parenting, confidence, empowerment, Family, Parenting

Totally irreversibly insane!

He gets it from his mama. #sadbuttrue

Okay, I wrote that title days ago and here I am finishing what I started. Do you ever get so distracted with life that you don’t finish the things that bring you joy? For example, if you’re working 9-5 (PS WHO works those hours anymore? More like 7-6) you probably have unfinished projects all over your house or even car. You’ve probably said, “I’ll get to that this weekend or when the kids are on summer vacation.” Isn’t it time to take a stand for all of our unfinished pro…. – as I was writing that last sentence Zaccai woke up from his nap and here I am hours and hours later picking up from where I left off.

How am I supposed to be an awesome blogger with 2 jobs, 1 baby cub, 1 man cub, a house, laundry, grocery shopping, friends, student emails, 15 employees…. ???Blah, blah, blah!

Let’s try to get back…. Where did I leave off? Oh, yes. Start & finish your projects! Why did you start them in the first place? Do they bring you joy? If so, what are you waiting for!? Just do it.

Now, reasons why my toddler is totally insane:

He cries because, well, I’m not sure why- life is too difficult for a 2 year old?

He woke up the other night around 1AM and was so pissed at me (maybe from a dream?) and he decided to yell, scream and cry for over an hour. Then, in an instant he decided he wanted to play with his toys. So, for a few more hours he played and played. What the!!?!!!!

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Then, after my tired, burning, red eyes healed from a night of total exhaustion my mind changed.

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He’s not totally insane, he’s 2 & welcome to motherhood. What’s so annoying is seeing these model like mommas with their perfect houses and perfect husbands. No offense if you are one of those moms (I hear they don’t exist anyway) but “you” mommas make us feel like mom-failures. And my two-year-old-crazy-bat-shit-kid is moderately mediocre in comparison to your beige wearing, flower picking angel.

So, here’s to all the bat-shit-crazy-two-year olds and their crazy-ass-imperfect-mommas!

I spent the afternoon with my sweet momma friend. She quoted a quote that we have all quoted, (read that 5 times fast!)

life is too short

And, she’s right. As we begin to end the year I’m focusing on being thankful for all I have and not dwelling on what I don’t.

I’m thankful to have this blog and people that care enough to read and watch my life unravel & ravel!

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My Prison: thank you student loans

Family, Parenting, Student loan debt

Before you sign that e-line. Damn, they make it so easy, consider this:

You’re throwing away years of your life for 4 to 6 years of education to get a mediocre job you won’t even like.

Yep. That about sums it up.

Well, now, I know what you’re thinking… you {meaning me/myself/I} didn’t have to go to school and hell you didn’t have to get a master’s degree.

But, I’m going to clarify why I did “have” to and what I “thought” I’d accomplish.

I’m the first one in my family to go to college and graduate. So, I guess you could say I upped the ante. I figured, just in case someone got crazy and tried to graduate with a degree… I’d get my master’s. Silly. Really, I wanted a master’s to show I could do it. I could be successful. Oh, if I only knew.

What does success even mean?

I assume many equate it to $$ dollar, dollar bills. Yes & no. I mean, I need them (dollars) but they don’t define my success. Unfortunately, in a society that believes bigger is better – I am swimming upstream, alone.

So, back to those student loans. I’d like to take a minute to thank the people that inspired me to further my education – the rich.

You see, I thought the rich were showering themselves with degree(s). Silly me. Especially, since I grew up poor and my parents lacked college educations. I figured I understood the connection. No degree = financial struggle.

These days: too many degrees = financial struggle.

I believed the lies I was told. If you go to college you’ll make a million more than those who didn’t. Lame. You’ll be more successful. You’ll change the world. Bulls&it.

All my “degrees” have awarded me is a 20 year sentence to prison. I can’t spend too much at the grocery store for fear that I’ll overdraft my delicate checking account. I can’t think about new clothes or shoes without the reminder of my piles of debt. I am allowed to drive to work, work, drive to another work, work, and then go home and work. There are way too many “work(s)” in that sentence!

Work!
Work!
Work!

College eduction may be a waste of time for you if your parents didn’t set aside a college fund. Or, if you weren’t guided to apply for grants/scholarships… Or, if you weren’t smart enough to work-then college-then work. You see?

So, I anted up and lost. I’ll be in prison with no chance of parol for the next 20 (plus) years. My chariot awaits.

I read this story once and want to share it with you… I wish I would have read it before the notion of our “America Dream” was imbedded in my head.

Mexican Fisherman

Sigh, if only I could fish.

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