A Mother’s Dream

Attachment parenting, Cloth diaper, Family, Marginalized individuals, Mother, Parenting, Summer

Before I became a parent I knew exactly how to “parent.” Some how through these past [almost] 2 years my son has been alive, I’ve lost the knowledge. People now look at me in grocery stores, malls, airports and I’m sure they’re thinking lady get a hold of your kid!

Zaccai is so sweet but boy-oh-boy is he entering his terrible twos!? That’s okay though, really it’s freaking okay! I take my son mostly everywhere I go and most days he’s a chill boy. However, we all have our moments.

Speaking of “moments” Michael Brown had a moment. At first Americans heard of another police shooting – this time a black teen in Missouri. The story so unjust. Then [of course there has to be a fucking then] they release a video showing the teen stealing cigars… And let’s be honest- being a little shit head.

Have you ever been a “little shit head” in your life? I have. Shhhhh don’t tell anyone that. Being a little shit head has major consequences- like the time my teenage friend stole a few trinkets from Claire’s. I’m pretty sure her parents grounded her… And damn it if my mom would not let me back to the mall by myself; thanks Natalie. Or, the time that me and my friends stole Christmas lawn ornaments from the neighborhood to decorate an abandoned house- AWESOME…. still running free from that one. Or, the time we all got busted for underage drinking except this goodie two shoes was a sober driverby choice, of course. Minor in consumption, anyone?

Yes, little shit heads we were. BUT – Guess what!?

Momma! Momma! Maaaaaama!

Attachment parenting, Cloth diaper, Marriage, Mother, Parenting, Summer, Summer vacation

Sound familiar?

It now does to me!
Little Mr. Z now calls me by name. Momma.

The sweetest little voice calls me momma!

IMG_4320.JPG

It’s been a fun & busy past couple of weeks. One of my friends is getting married! And we celebrated her upcoming nuptials in Rocky Point, Mexico. I was fortunate enough to be able to go. The funny thing was, I missed my guys. Well, it’s not “funny” as much as it’s ironic. There are times when I wish I was alone on a beach with no worry in the world – but, then, the moment passes and all I want is my cute little family.

IMG_4274.JPG

We definitely do not take enough pictures as a family… This should be a bucket list requirement: more family photos.

I’ve seen many people doing their “bucket list” to-dos. 30 before 30… 40 before 40. I’d like to do that but I’m not sure I need more pressure on me! And… 30 is-a-knockin’ 😳

All I can say is that it’s been a long few weeks, I’m tired, my husband is tired and we are just taking it day-by-day.

Have you ever just felt, mehhhhh?

I’m in that wonderland right now. Somewhere between a liquid diet and a chocolate cake.

Sigh.

IMG_4328-1.JPG

Flight kindness

Attachment parenting, Family, Marriage, Mother, Summer, Summer vacation, Uncategorized

Well, Zaccai and I are off to Philadelphia so I can work for the week. I have a wonderful mom who took time off work to stay with me so I could bring Mr. Z.

On our flight an older man was so kind and gave me a bag of M&MS. He said, “you might enjoy this.” Now, I normally do not give Z M&MS but I couldn’t turn down the kind gesture. Z slept most of the flight but when he woke up and saw those M&MS that’s all he wanted. Of course. He’s never even seen a bag but somehow he knew what it was. Well, one pellet after another he was a happy little boy. The things we say as parents that we would never do. Shaking my head at my old self.

Z owned his seat. Silly boy.

20140721-173715-63435364.jpg

We’re now in New Jersey for the weekend; I’m staying with my best friend and her fiancΓ©e. I tacked on a weekend trip to stay with my bestie! Don’t you love best friends? We can look at each other and just know what the other is thinking. We share our love of people watching, eating, occasional exercise (even though we both know we need more exercise and less food) and our love of talking about inappropriate subjects. I have a few best friends and each one holds a special place in my heart. I wouldn’t be who I am without them.

The fun thing about this special girl is her name is Amber (just like mine), her dad’s name is Ernie (just like mine), we both lost weight on Weight Watchers and are lifetime members.

20140721-175009-64209644.jpg

20140721-175133-64293083.jpg

20140721-175132-64292742.jpg

20140721-175132-64292288.jpg

It’s been nice to reconnect and spend quality time with my boy. I miss my husband and can’t wait to see him. He’s been home working, cleaning and replacing the battery in my car. Don’t you just love husbands that fix things? Mine is a master of fixing. Sometimes it annoys me because he wants to “fix it” when “it” might not need any fixing… Just maybe some listening. But, in this case, I’m oh so grateful for the fixing.

It’s been a fun weekend but for some reason I love structure, work and reality. And, well, I’m ready to get back to it.

I hope you’ve enjoyed your week! I’ll be posting soon about my learning experiences as a mom and traveling! A few tips for you.

Kisses to all.

20140721-175230-64350108.jpg

Blowin’ off STEAM

Art, Art and design, Attachment parenting, Cloth diaper, Family, Marriage, Mother, Parenting, Small Business, Summer, Summer vacation

Welcome back to reality.

Did you enjoy your vacation? Good, because, it’s over.

Reality check.

I actually like the routine of life but getting back into the routine is hard!

As soon as we got home my husband’s brakes went out on his truck. Someone up above thinks we’re racking in the dough. So, that was a nice reality check.

Work has also been difficult lately. I’m learning, growing and stretching myself in ways that are uncomfortable. Feedback. Critical feedback is hard to swallow. However, I will say that it’s important. Perception is reality in business relationships and I want to be perceived in the best professional light. So, I’m willing to take the uncomfortable feedback and mold/develop myself. Ouch. Internal scrapes and bruises are more painful than external ones.

But. When I get home, I’m their everything. All this boy wants or needs How amazing is that? I don’t deserve it but I need it.

20140628-091018-33018407.jpg

After Zaccai was born, Marvell and I struggled to see eye to eye. I hope we’re not the only couple that goes through this. We continually said…
“This is why people need to be married to have kids. It would be really easy to leave right now- run away and dispose of the problems.”

We continue to face our problems and disagreements. But, I remember the day we got married and the look on his face as he said those vows. I was his and he was mine. Our first dance. Our first steps into the world as a couple. If you’re struggling as a couple – live there for a moment.

20140628-091538-33338460.jpg

20140628-091538-33338376.jpg

20140628-091538-33338421.jpg

Marvell drew this on our first anniversary. Custom says “paper.” This was my gift.

In Puerto Rico I danced my heart out! Marvell isn’t much of a dancer but the song Just the way you are came on and we danced as if was our first dance, tears and all.

Those small moments, those moments of connection are what I live for. They are not daily. Life isn’t a fairy tale. If we can begin to set realistic expectations in our marriage, the way we do at work- maybe we would succeed a little more. It’s a daily chore. It’s work. It’s reality. But don’t forget to take a moment to stop, smell, breathe, live. We’re so busy that we may rush over those moments or take them for granted- then what? They’re gone. Don’t lose them.

Now that reality is settling in…I had an egg white, spinach, tomato thin bagel sandwich. I wanted piles of pancakes and syrup. Sacrifice.

20140628-092420-33860073.jpg

Paleo-fail

Attachment parenting, Cloth diaper, Family, Mother, Outdoors, Parenting, Small Business, Summer

I lost 55 pounds on Weight Watchers 7 plus years ago. I followed the program and learned from my mistakes and slowly but surely the weight fell off. Hard work. Determination.

I grew up loving food. Every meal was a celebration! There were times that we didn’t have many food options but we always had something to eat. When my parents separated then divorced we ate bean and cheese burritos, rice, cup-o-noodles, and other cheap-ass-high-calorie-shit-food. So, needless to say, I had no idea that healthy food and portion size mattered.

Joining Weight Watchers changed my life – forever. In fact, I’d go so far to say it’s changed my son’s life too. I lost the weight way before he was even a thought but I am a healthier person because of the program!

I always follow W.W. but occasionally, I try new recipes and ideas. Today I have tried and failed a paleo recipe. What’s wrong with these perfect eaters anyway!?

20140608-172544-62744851.jpg

As suggested, I started with 2 cups of almonds and my vita mix. Blended.
Blended. Stopped since Z was crying to hold him. Started. Stopped because the vita mix was on over-drive. Then I thought, this is why I don’t do this shit. Then restarted. This took all of 30 minutes. When you read the recipe they make it seem so easy. 10-15 minutes.

Be patient!

Well, for the love of (-)… This is what I’m left with hours later.

20140608-172900-62940973.jpg

Looks a little chunky, no?

It’s so easy “they say.” Those Paleo people deserve to get a kick in the butt! Here’s the delightful recipe: Amazing Paleo Banana Almond Ice Cream

You try it, let me know.
I’m full of misses. Not a cook, not a baker, not a homemaker. Ahhhh,
Oh well.

We went swimming today. Check out this sweetness.

20140608-174722-64042703.jpg

It’s 102 out. Melt. Heart melt, too.

It’s so hot and our Paleo ice cream is a bust. I’ve decided we will go to Churn for a sweet treat.

20140608-174940-64180201.jpg

Eating healthy daily is for the birds. Enjoy ice cream.