12 perfect examples of my kid terrorizing my life

Attachment parenting, Family, Uncategorized

My kid hasn’t quite hit the terrible twos that everyone has warned me about. Really, the little shit has his moments; but, all-in-all, I just enjoy his company. He laughs those deep belly laughs that make you stop in your tracks. He says things like, “momma, giraffes eat leaves!” Or “momma, bug!” Or, my absolute favorite, “momma, I’m tired…” and the proceeds to do all things to avoid taking a nap. 

  1. He refuses to sleep! I mean, the sweetest part of my day is/WAS sleeping and this kid hates it. Sigh.
  2. He is still nursing. Okay, okay. Before you jump down my throat (no matter what paradigm you fall under) I’m *almost* done with it. He’s far from done. I can tell, I’m the momma. Sigh.
  3. If his toys are messy, he freaks out. Unless, that is, he has made the big disaster of a mess, then I guess it’s our problem. 
  4. He screams when I leave for work. 
  5. A moment later he says, “bye-bye momma, laters.”
  6. The days I take him to day care he practically jumps out of my arms into his day care mommas arms. “Laters.”
  7. He loathes car rides and makes sure I pay. Big time. 
  8. He pinches my fat and runs away. Laughing. 
  9. He licks my face and then growls at me. 
  10. He recently started calling me “ab-mer” cryyyyyyyyy. It’s momma buddy. 
  11. He hates my cooking. Loves peppers and carrots. Not my cooking. Sigh. 
  12. He pushes me to the point of exhaustion. I’m not sure if I function properly most days. But, then he smiles, screams momma and it’s all good.

So, terrible two huh? Mostly terrific two and moments of terrible-ness. But man, are those moments frightening! Push you to the point of insanity and then drop you off in an unfamiliar place. As if you have an out of body experience and then hit your head and wake up being you again, just bruised. Stronger but bruised. Maybe that’s the point. Egos are bruised in order to learn and understand we are all in this together, learning and growing together. 

What a sweet growing experience, huh? 







5 signs you’re a mom and probably shouldn’t be…

Attachment parenting, Cloth diaper, Family, Marriage, Mother, Parenting, Publishing a children's book

I woke up oh so early this morning.

4 AM Wake up! For what reason? I don’t know.

Well, that’s not entirely true. Z started whining in his sleep, “MULK” “momma, Mulk.” So, naturally, in my sleep I roll over, pop out a boob and nurse. But, this morning it woke me up and I couldn’t fall back to sleep. I started thinking about being a mom and how much I need to learn.

Here are my 5 signs I need to grow up but probably won’t:

1. If you don’t take a shower at night and you play outside with a toddler, you’ll wake up itchy in the wee-hours of the morning. Fact.

2. After work I take off my nice, expensive work clothes and politely lay them on the ground in front of my closet. After my 4:30 AM shower this morning, I stood on said clothes to find comfy yoga pants. Winning.

3. I walked into the bathroom and found my dirty clothes on the ground – next to soggy cloth diapers, eh, someone’s mom might pick that up one day.

4. I looked back in the shower and realized I’ve been taking a shower with empty shampoo bottles for months. Where is that mom that cleans this shit up?

5. I’ve been sneak eating Marvell’s red velvet birthday cake all week and then coming out of the kitchen with baby carrots. What? Don’t judge me.

There you have it. #momfails of the century. When will I turn into my mom? It seemed that she always had shit together.

Hey, at least I’m up, showered and have eaten a bowl of cereal and a bite of red velvet before anyone even noticed.

That’s winning in my book.

Speaking of book: ITS DONE!

“Loving My Grandmas” will be on bookshelves soon! I approved the proof of the book and 100 copies are being sent to my house. I’ll soon have a link to buy the book. I can’t tell you how excited I am! Here’s a sneak peak of the cover….

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Like me on Facebook as well!

Loving My Grandmas Facebook page

Happy birthday, love.

Attachment parenting, Family, Marriage

Til’ death do you part.

And we’re not dead yet, so let’s eat cake.

Jan. 31, my love turned 39. I know right!? He looks A-M-A-Z-I-N-G. Lucky duck.

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I wanted to surprise him with a little birthday dinner and a BIG birthday cake. His favorite is red velvet. So, I made reservations for dinner with a few of his friends. Such a fun, sweet night. It’s so important to celebrate the people we love. It reminds them we care about them and are willing to take the time out of our day to show appreciation.

Dinner was fabulous but my view was the sweetest part of it all. Him.

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To my husband:

Your quiet introverted self is the complete opposite of me, inspiring.

Your hands create the most amazing artwork this eye has ever seen, truly.

Your smile melts my heart and I don’t see that enough, need more.

Every year you’ve been alive tells a story, I’m thankful to be a part of this journey.

Your 20’s were a shit-show, glad to not have been a part of that journey! Lol, had to throw that in there!

I’ve seen you in the lowest of lows and the highest of highs. At times I think I’m responsible for both. Love isn’t easy, is it? Babies aren’t easy, are they? And not to mention these dogs! Through it all you’re calm and patient, well, most of the time. You show me love and respect and I’m thankful for that.

For your 39 candles and a wish I share with you:

Go. Show the world YOU. Don’t hold back. YOU have something to offer this world, they’re ready.

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That’s a cake. That’s a cake with 39 candles! What a beautiful way to celebrate the man I love. To another 39 years. Growing old with this dude.

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For better or worse, Couples Therapy

Attachment parenting, Family, Marriage

Last I checked our country had a
high rate of divorce. When I say “last I checked” I literally googled it yesterday. Now, with the high rate and all, we are actually declining in divorce rates! Don’t jump for joy so quickly, it’s still pretty high. A nice pat on the back or thank you very much will do.

Now, if you’re married you know this shit is hard. If you’re married and poor, that shit is hard-er. And, lastly, if you’re married, poor and have other mouths to feed, quit while you’re ahead! All right, enough of the doom and gloom… there’s hope.

How to withstand a marriage without hating your partner?

1. COMMUNICATE. Which means, get off your “smart phone.” It’s not so smart. If fact, arguably, we spend more time on our smart phones than with, I don’t know, real people. Setting boundaries is extremely important, even with our technology. Set ’em.

2. Be honest. We’re not perfect people. If you need something from your partner, ask. If your partner isn’t giving you what you need, ask. Then, refer to step 1.

3. Have fun. Yea, like you “used to.” Even if fun means, making fun of your two year old’s poop face. Or, when they fall. Come on! It’s funny, sometimes.

4. Allow yourself down time. LOL. Just kidding moms.

5. Wash your hair! Throw on some makeup or cologne or underwear for that matter and get out of yoga pants or sweat pants…. I mean, really. Try it once. Your significant other will thank you. Then, go out for coffee or whatever people do in real pants.

6. Charm each other. You were once capable of it. Try it again.

7. If at first you don’t succeed…. You know the drill.

8. Be OK with growing old. Sagging is the new 20. If you’re a millionaire, lip injections can also be the new 20. Damn you rich people.

9. Create something together… Maybe not another human if the time isn’t right. Start with a mini garden or something.

10. Last but not least, seek an amazing therapist. I did. It’s awesome.

Speaking of therapy… I want to share the most insightful piece of information she shared with me.

After recapping the saga that is my life story, she asks me a few questions, I answer. She looks dumbfounded. Choppy words come out of her mouth, like, “but how did you know that at such a young age?” Or, “you couldn’t have known what was going on between your parents, could you?”

Yes. Yes. And, well, yes.

I knew. I knew all too well. I protected the “boys” from what I knew. BTW- they HATE that I call them “the boys.” They were so young and I could tell they lived in their own bubble of a world. Why would I pop that bubble just because I lived in reality at 6?

Separation.
No mom.
Living in another country.
The divorce.
The nasty court battle.
Raising my brothers.
Fighting for our rights in court, yes at ages 6,7,8,9,10…

My job was to protect those boys from the truth.

She looked at me, I could tell she wanted to cry. My face, stone cold. I couldn’t let the tears start because they wouldn’t stop.

She said, “you made it out.” YOU made it out.

I started to tear up… And she said, “how does that make you feel?”

My only response was… “I let them down. I can’t enjoy success because they [“the boys”] are so troubled. They haven’t felt the same success. I feel as if I can’t be happy.”

Then, I lost it.

I look at this sweet face and wonder if in 20 years… Will he sit in my shoes? God, I hope not.

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1-2-3…. OUCH!! #attachmentparentingfails

Attachment parenting, Cloth diaper, Family, Marriage, weight loss

Yea, we’ll get to that in a minute. You’ll probably die laughing.

I survived my first week back to work. We traveled home from Mississippi and landed in our cushy nestled little mess-of-a-home. It felt like we brought Mississippi weather with us. It was freezing cold when he landed in AZ. Seriously, the next few days it rained & snowed in parts of the valley. Totally nutty. Happily, I will say it’s now 70. That’s why I live here.

New Years means New You! It’s a time to reinvent yourself and prove to the world you’re an asset to your family, work & friends. When is it that we start to slip into the old habit(s) again? It happens. You forget how much you wanted to lose weight, save money, pay off debt, stop drinking so much… You get it.

Why?

Why do we forget so easily? Comfortable? Lazy? Busy? Overwhelmed? Maybe all of the above.

When I lost 55 pounds over 7 years ago I remember thinking, “if I could just fix this problem/this food issue, all of my other problems will seem like a breeze.” {She} was right and wrong. If you’ve kept up with me over the year you know I’ve fought many battles: family/financial. I must say, those aren’t easy, but knowing I have total control of what goes into my mouth and how I handle situations makes MY life slightly easier. It doesn’t solve all problems, but it does make it easier.

I miss leading Weight Watcher meetings. I wish I could be there to inspire my friends. The members were my friends, I loved them. I know they loved me too. I wish I had all the money in the world and I could go back. But, I can’t. There isn’t enough time in the week for me to squeeze out another job. I worked 3 jobs for 6 years. Too much. Can’t do it. But, I miss it. Weight Watchers saved my life.

Alright. The moment you’ve been waiting for…

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Oh, what’s that you say? Well, a moment of I can’t take this shit anymore. I’m done. Give me coffee. Oh, and the band aids. Yea,
those. Well, you see, I’m still nursing the kid. Last week- I WAS DONE! No more. Stop. Stop! Stooppppp!!!!!

“Mama, mulk.” “MAMA, MULK.”

First off kid- it’s MILK. An I. “ill-k” with an M before that. M-I-L-K.

Mama, MULK.

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So. I said no more “Mama Mulk” for this guy. He cried and cried and cried. Heart wrenching tears. It was horrible. That’s when I remembered this blog I read that mentioned she put bandaids on her nipples and her kid seemed to get it. “Momma owie.” So, I tried that. Z was pretty pissed that I had a sudden “owie.” I could tell he thought, “this woman thinks I’m an idiot!” He eventually gave me some space and all was well. I thought, OMG. It worked. It really worked. Then, 10 minutes later Z said…. (Drumroll please)

Mama, MULK!

I had to peel those bad boys off one of the most sensible sensitive (that was funny auto-correct, sensible lol) skin on our bodies!!!!!!!!! WTF! I didn’t think about that part! He didn’t wait a second. I ripped them off and he was right there ready to nurse. So, here we are going strong. 26 months and counting.

I remember thinking, can I get this right? Will he latch? Are my boobs too big… Will he suffocate under there👈LOL. Well, I guess I got it SO right that it’s lasting forever.

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2014 A Look Back!

Attachment parenting, Family, Uncategorized

One complete year being a blogger and I couldn’t be more excited to share my success with you! I’m proud that “A Mother’s Dream” was my #1 blog post; it was an emotional week for me.

Feel free to snoop and see the success of a first time – first year mom blogger!

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The WordPress.com stats helper monkeys prepared a 2014 annual report for this blog.

Here’s an excerpt:

A New York City subway train holds 1,200 people. This blog was viewed about 4,100 times in 2014. If it were a NYC subway train, it would take about 3 trips to carry that many people.

Click here to see the complete report.

My Birth Write’s Liebster Award

Uncategorized

Happy New Year!

Happy Blogerversary!

That’s right! It’s been ONE complete year of blogging!! I’ve had ups & downs & times where I’ve felt like this “blogging thing” was just another thing that was taking up my time. In short, I’ve felt like giving up on this little blog more than once, more than twice, but not enough to actually, well, give up.

Bye-bye 2014 and all your overdraft fees and sleepless nights; I’m ringing in a rich 2015 and a new found love of baby Benadryl. Can you say, “sleep through the night medicine!” Alright, in all seriousness, I’ll take a pink unicorn.

Drumroll please…..

My sweet little – WTF am I doing with my life – blog was nominated for its first award!!!!!

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How exciting!! I’m so thankful! I was nominated by Appetite For Honesty. In her blog she talks about her family, her, her husband and two boys. What I appreciate most about her blog is her candidness about life and reality. It’s messy and sweet. Be sure to check her out!

This award means a few things:

1. I’m on the road to becoming famous.

✔️ New Years resolution 2015

2. I get to answer questions for new readers to get to know me.

3. They like me, they really like me!

✔️ Again, practicing being famous.

Grinchy Holi*days & New Years Blessings!

Attachment parenting, Family, Outdoors, Parenting

I took a vacation from job #1, job #2 (winter break), & job #3 – which means my blog.

I’m excited to recap on our last few weeks & give you some tips of traveling with a spunky toddler!

End of the year{s} are bitter sweet, aren’t they? A time to reflect and be thankful. That’s one of my favorite parts of the season. Oh yea, and the smell of cinnamon. I know, nutty right? I love associating smells to the time of year.

I had a quirky-fun post about how I’m a true grinch and hate the holidays… And SOMEHOW it DISAPPEARED! I was so mad! So, instead of rewriting it, I took a few days to feel sorry for my blogger self and then I moved on. I figured lists of why American consumerism/need for instant gratification and how this is ruining our holiday can be found on another blog. So, it’s gone and here I am writing something much different days after Christmas.

We live in beautiful Phoenix, AZ but spend our Christmas holiday in Jackson, Mississippi. Bye-bye 70 degree Christmas. To top off the travel, we fly STAND-BY. EKKK! Those of you that buy regular tickets, how do you do it? It’s so unaffordable – for us.

This trip was lucky. My husband left a few days before us & traveled smoothly and made all connections. Z and I left a few days later and we too made all the connections! Win-win. Now, traveling with a 2 year old isn’t ideal- on ANY level. However, I was thankful we didn’t have to sit in an airport for hours and hours waiting for flight after flight. I checked my luggage and brought the necessities! I always travel with my Bugaboo Donkey Mono. I’m not exaggerating when I say it saves my traveling life! Amazing stroller for the win. See that side cart? Yea, be jealous! I always get, “oh, my goodness, that stroller!” Other moms are looking at me like, “I hate you and that awesome stroller.” Envy, a cruel thing. It’s worth EVERY penny! I’d buy it again in a heart beat. Take that recalled finger splitting Graco.

Recipe for traveling with a happy toddler:

1 iPad – with Frozen, Let it Go!

1 “nacks” – don’t correct your toddler that can’t say (s)nacks.

1 empty sippy cup – you’re welcome TSA.

1 diaper bag with baby stuff and pain meds, for you. Can you say back cramp?

1 red eye flight – Z slept most of the time! Yes!

Oh, and check yo bags, b&tches! You don’t need that shit. Check them!

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Ahh! Look at the photo where Z is just a wee-bitty thing in the stroller! Melt.

Darn boy is getting SO big! They do grow up. I need a time capsule.

Here we are, Mississippi, surrounded by all Marvell’s friends and family and it couldn’t be more perfect. No drama, just family that loves each other. No annoying questions or judgement about life or decisions, just pure quality time. Isn’t that strange? It is to me! I mean, I haven’t even seen some of my family members and they are sending me cruel messages with a nice, “F&&k you!” Seriously, got that one a few days after Christmas. Tis the season. That’s my family. Go figure.

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Since I’m a self-proclaimed Grinch I didn’t buy anything for Christmas. I figured I didn’t want to travel with it & Z would get plenty. And, of course he did. I also didn’t mention “Santa” or anything that would refer to the jolly ol dude. So, to my surprise, Z saw the big guy, pointed and said, “Santa!” O.M.G. I’m ending my grinchy-hood now. It was the cutest thing!

My hubby grew up on a farm so Z is loving being a temporary farm-boy. The life, right? Look at these beauties!

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Someone pointed out that one of these bad girls was pregnant, hehe, I had no idea. I figured it was just a little chunky. Kind of like me after the holiday. just a little chunky

Speaking of chunky, these could be one of the reasons! Amazing sugar cookies! Sugar Cookie Recipe. I followed her icing recipe, too. I added food coloring to separate bowls to get creative! I also sent my husband to the store to get cookie cut outs. He came back with a plane, train and car… Merry Christmas! 😂.

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Well, my vacation ended yesterday & I should be in sunny AZ. But, standby wasn’t as good to us and all the flights are booked until Tuesday. TUESDAY! I couldn’t make it to work today and tomorrow. I pray I’m back for work on Wednesday! I figured it was God’s greater plan to keep us here longer, maybe???

I hope you had an amazing Holiday. Hanukkah, Kwanza, Christmas and everything in between!!!

Thanks•giving

Attachment parenting

As I look back at my year I really want to prove I’m a thankful person. Mostly to you, my reader. I use my blog as an outlet to complain, share defeats & triumphs, explain life with an artist husband and two year old. I’m pretty honest and forthcoming with my struggles.

Here’s my list of thankful{ness}

1. I’m thankful for my sweet family & amazingly grumpy husband. If it wasn’t for his grumpiness, I’d never know when he is happy.

2. My loving – do anything for you – mom. She will literally do ANYthing for me. Well, except pour one less glass of wine.

3. My step-parents. They keep my biological parents in check, that way I don’t have to.

4. My grandparents. They helped raise me and keep me grounded. Yea, I just realized my grandfather wears a pinkie ring. See previous post on “You’re a blogger, too?”

5. My nose. It’s perfect. Enough said.

6. Obama. He passed legislation that I can overdraft my account up to $500. If you’re not broke, you don’t get it. If you’re broke, you’re welcome. Just “opt-in” with your bank.

7. My publisher. He has opened doors for me that I would never have imagined. Well, let’s hope he opens some doors! The book is still in progress! Hurry! Hurry!

8. Food. Namely, carbs and chocolate.

9. Weight Watchers. To understand when I can have said “carbs and chocolate.”

10. The lotto- because someone’s gotta win.

In all seriousness, I have to say 2014 was bumpy with many lessons learned. I’m thankful that I’m healthy and my family is healthy. Life isn’t perfect for us but we make it through.

What are you thankful for this year? What did you accomplish – anything past your wildest dreams??

This delicious photo was taken from “abakeshop” if you’re in the Phoenix area… YOU HAVE TO POP IN THERE!

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You’re a blogger, too?

Attachment parenting, Family, Publishing a children's book, Student loan debt

So, I do wear many hats; I get why my friends are constantly asking me “what don’t you do!!??

I don’t do chores very well, I lack the grace.

I also don’t pay my bills on time these days. Hello, people, the struggle is real. Today when I got a notice that my internet and TV was turned off for non-payment I realized a due date wasn’t just a suggestion in the USofA. Century Link is for real, yo.

So, $300.00 later (I definitely didn’t expect to pay that) I may have Internet/TV tomorrow. I seriously DO NOT need nor want the TV service. *Married couples – in the house- it’s a pick your battle sort of thing!? The Internet, well, I guess we need that.

Since we are forced to live without such luxuries for the time being I popped in a DVD!

When is the last time you used a DVD!? Are they slowly becoming the dinosaurs’ VHS cousin?

I chose my favorite movie of all time, well, almost all time, Julie & Julia. First, I had to watch 20 minutes of previews. PREVIEWS!? What on G-d’s green earth??

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When I first watched J & J I loved the movie and felt like I was Julie! We had similar jobs and I was seeking life’s ultimate: success! However, I never imagined I would be a blogger, too.
What the hell did I know about blogging. What the heck do I have to say? Why would anyone read it anyway?

She felt the same way. And look at her now! She set a goal and she achieved it, past her wildest dreams.

She celebrated her 30th in the movie… Now I’m realizing maybe my life is more similar to her now. I’m still in a cube & almost 30. Shit.

I try to dream past my wildest dreams but my reality gets in the way. Namely, bills. I am a slave to these people. The rich-ass-companies that swindle my money and own yachts and pinkie rings.

Who wears a pinkie ring anyway?

One of my favorite parts of J & J is when she has a terrible day and falls apart on the floor, crying like a baby. Man, how many times have I “been there done that”. Too many. I wanted to scream and cry today! It’s not fair I have all these bills and don’t get a penny to myself without fear of retribution.

One day, one day it won’t be so hard, right? I’ll have paid all my debt off and I’ll live within my “means.” Even if those means are measly.

Oh, yea. And my student loans are “a-knockin.'” I read some article that some odd millions were forgiven for student loan debt; too bad that wasn’t mine.

Until then, my little book is hopefully going to be done in a few months. I created a Facebook page for “Loving My Grandmas.” Feel free to check it out, like & share.

Maybe, just maybe, I’ll have a wildest dream story to share.

Until then, no internet/tv or dignity.

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