Motherhood, you’re disgustingΒ 

Attachment parenting, Cloth diaper, Family, Mother, Parenting

That’s what we’re told anyway. 

NO? 

Really? NO?

Okay. Thanks but no thanks. 

For what? Your simple little opinion of motherhood. The naysayers. The others. The non-mothers. The righteous mothers. Or, just the righteous. 

You know who I’m talking about. The ones who make THIS a story. 

All day every day

Moms everywhere are forced to explain themselves or justify their actions. Like it everyone’s business how long we nurse, diaper, co-sleep, when we potty train, when we take away the paci, when we.. Blah, blah, blah. 
Look you assholes, it’s our business. 

Now, if we let you into our world, don’t be an asshole. If you must, practice this old saying: “treat others as you wish to be treated”. Or, take it one step further, “treat others as they wish to be treated”.

As a mom, I’ve done things I NEVER thought I would.

  1. Nursed and peed. Numerous times… What else would I do? Kid is hungry and I pee occasionally, ever try to hold that in? 
  2. Allowed my child to vomit on me, I’d rather clean myself than mop a floor. I wasn’t sure of my other options in the moment. 
  3. Cleaned poop out of the tub, twice. 
  4. Slept in pee. It’s like water, right? I just moved right on over… It was really a win-win. 
  5. Eaten kid left overs. Why? I have no idea- waste of calories on food that isn’t even luke warm. Stupid.
  6. Nursed in public, with no cover. Judge me. 
  7. Give up myself, daily. 
  8. Work endlessly. 
  9. Worry often.
  10. Love, amazingly. Or, to “you” maybe disgustingly. 

That’s right. I’ve done all these things and more. “You’ve” (they’ve) tweeted/facebooked/IG comments of disgust over half of these things. But, guess what: it’s REAL. REAL F-ING MOTHERHOOD. It’s what amazing moms are willing to do, everyday. 

So, step off your douche-bag soap box. We’re not going away. Those real social media photos, they’re not stopping either. Be thankful we’re here raising the next set of hopefully non-douche bag children. 

This weekend was full of disgusting moments. Puke, poop, fever, cleaning and repeat. 

We have a few sweet moments, though. 

Sunshine Breakfast.    
My first cotton candy. [not pictured: the other cotton candy, he wanted both colors]

  

  

Finally, after blood, sweat and tears of a sicky weekend Z wanted to watch a movie in the Jeep. So we sat – in the drive way- in the Jeep- with the iPad. So what?

 

Friends: pray for a clean slate and no more puke. 

Until next time, nurse your kid on the potty. ✌🏽️

5 signs you’re a mom and probably shouldn’t be…

Attachment parenting, Cloth diaper, Family, Marriage, Mother, Parenting, Publishing a children's book

I woke up oh so early this morning.

4 AM Wake up! For what reason? I don’t know.

Well, that’s not entirely true. Z started whining in his sleep, “MULK” “momma, Mulk.” So, naturally, in my sleep I roll over, pop out a boob and nurse. But, this morning it woke me up and I couldn’t fall back to sleep. I started thinking about being a mom and how much I need to learn.

Here are my 5 signs I need to grow up but probably won’t:

1. If you don’t take a shower at night and you play outside with a toddler, you’ll wake up itchy in the wee-hours of the morning. Fact.

2. After work I take off my nice, expensive work clothes and politely lay them on the ground in front of my closet. After my 4:30 AM shower this morning, I stood on said clothes to find comfy yoga pants. Winning.

3. I walked into the bathroom and found my dirty clothes on the ground – next to soggy cloth diapers, eh, someone’s mom might pick that up one day.

4. I looked back in the shower and realized I’ve been taking a shower with empty shampoo bottles for months. Where is that mom that cleans this shit up?

5. I’ve been sneak eating Marvell’s red velvet birthday cake all week and then coming out of the kitchen with baby carrots. What? Don’t judge me.

There you have it. #momfails of the century. When will I turn into my mom? It seemed that she always had shit together.

Hey, at least I’m up, showered and have eaten a bowl of cereal and a bite of red velvet before anyone even noticed.

That’s winning in my book.

Speaking of book: ITS DONE!

“Loving My Grandmas” will be on bookshelves soon! I approved the proof of the book and 100 copies are being sent to my house. I’ll soon have a link to buy the book. I can’t tell you how excited I am! Here’s a sneak peak of the cover….

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Like me on Facebook as well!

Loving My Grandmas Facebook page

For better or worse, Couples Therapy

Attachment parenting, Family, Marriage

Last I checked our country had a
high rate of divorce. When I say “last I checked” I literally googled it yesterday. Now, with the high rate and all, we are actually declining in divorce rates! Don’t jump for joy so quickly, it’s still pretty high. A nice pat on the back or thank you very much will do.

Now, if you’re married you know this shit is hard. If you’re married and poor, that shit is hard-er. And, lastly, if you’re married, poor and have other mouths to feed, quit while you’re ahead! All right, enough of the doom and gloom… there’s hope.

How to withstand a marriage without hating your partner?

1. COMMUNICATE. Which means, get off your “smart phone.” It’s not so smart. If fact, arguably, we spend more time on our smart phones than with, I don’t know, real people. Setting boundaries is extremely important, even with our technology. Set ’em.

2. Be honest. We’re not perfect people. If you need something from your partner, ask. If your partner isn’t giving you what you need, ask. Then, refer to step 1.

3. Have fun. Yea, like you “used to.” Even if fun means, making fun of your two year old’s poop face. Or, when they fall. Come on! It’s funny, sometimes.

4. Allow yourself down time. LOL. Just kidding moms.

5. Wash your hair! Throw on some makeup or cologne or underwear for that matter and get out of yoga pants or sweat pants…. I mean, really. Try it once. Your significant other will thank you. Then, go out for coffee or whatever people do in real pants.

6. Charm each other. You were once capable of it. Try it again.

7. If at first you don’t succeed…. You know the drill.

8. Be OK with growing old. Sagging is the new 20. If you’re a millionaire, lip injections can also be the new 20. Damn you rich people.

9. Create something together… Maybe not another human if the time isn’t right. Start with a mini garden or something.

10. Last but not least, seek an amazing therapist. I did. It’s awesome.

Speaking of therapy… I want to share the most insightful piece of information she shared with me.

After recapping the saga that is my life story, she asks me a few questions, I answer. She looks dumbfounded. Choppy words come out of her mouth, like, “but how did you know that at such a young age?” Or, “you couldn’t have known what was going on between your parents, could you?”

Yes. Yes. And, well, yes.

I knew. I knew all too well. I protected the “boys” from what I knew. BTW- they HATE that I call them “the boys.” They were so young and I could tell they lived in their own bubble of a world. Why would I pop that bubble just because I lived in reality at 6?

Separation.
No mom.
Living in another country.
The divorce.
The nasty court battle.
Raising my brothers.
Fighting for our rights in court, yes at ages 6,7,8,9,10…

My job was to protect those boys from the truth.

She looked at me, I could tell she wanted to cry. My face, stone cold. I couldn’t let the tears start because they wouldn’t stop.

She said, “you made it out.” YOU made it out.

I started to tear up… And she said, “how does that make you feel?”

My only response was… “I let them down. I can’t enjoy success because they [“the boys”] are so troubled. They haven’t felt the same success. I feel as if I can’t be happy.”

Then, I lost it.

I look at this sweet face and wonder if in 20 years… Will he sit in my shoes? God, I hope not.

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1-2-3…. OUCH!! #attachmentparentingfails

Attachment parenting, Cloth diaper, Family, Marriage, weight loss

Yea, we’ll get to that in a minute. You’ll probably die laughing.

I survived my first week back to work. We traveled home from Mississippi and landed in our cushy nestled little mess-of-a-home. It felt like we brought Mississippi weather with us. It was freezing cold when he landed in AZ. Seriously, the next few days it rained & snowed in parts of the valley. Totally nutty. Happily, I will say it’s now 70. That’s why I live here.

New Years means New You! It’s a time to reinvent yourself and prove to the world you’re an asset to your family, work & friends. When is it that we start to slip into the old habit(s) again? It happens. You forget how much you wanted to lose weight, save money, pay off debt, stop drinking so much… You get it.

Why?

Why do we forget so easily? Comfortable? Lazy? Busy? Overwhelmed? Maybe all of the above.

When I lost 55 pounds over 7 years ago I remember thinking, “if I could just fix this problem/this food issue, all of my other problems will seem like a breeze.” {She} was right and wrong. If you’ve kept up with me over the year you know I’ve fought many battles: family/financial. I must say, those aren’t easy, but knowing I have total control of what goes into my mouth and how I handle situations makes MY life slightly easier. It doesn’t solve all problems, but it does make it easier.

I miss leading Weight Watcher meetings. I wish I could be there to inspire my friends. The members were my friends, I loved them. I know they loved me too. I wish I had all the money in the world and I could go back. But, I can’t. There isn’t enough time in the week for me to squeeze out another job. I worked 3 jobs for 6 years. Too much. Can’t do it. But, I miss it. Weight Watchers saved my life.

Alright. The moment you’ve been waiting for…

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Oh, what’s that you say? Well, a moment of I can’t take this shit anymore. I’m done. Give me coffee. Oh, and the band aids. Yea,
those. Well, you see, I’m still nursing the kid. Last week- I WAS DONE! No more. Stop. Stop! Stooppppp!!!!!

“Mama, mulk.” “MAMA, MULK.”

First off kid- it’s MILK. An I. “ill-k” with an M before that. M-I-L-K.

Mama, MULK.

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So. I said no more “Mama Mulk” for this guy. He cried and cried and cried. Heart wrenching tears. It was horrible. That’s when I remembered this blog I read that mentioned she put bandaids on her nipples and her kid seemed to get it. “Momma owie.” So, I tried that. Z was pretty pissed that I had a sudden “owie.” I could tell he thought, “this woman thinks I’m an idiot!” He eventually gave me some space and all was well. I thought, OMG. It worked. It really worked. Then, 10 minutes later Z said…. (Drumroll please)

Mama, MULK!

I had to peel those bad boys off one of the most sensible sensitive (that was funny auto-correct, sensible lol) skin on our bodies!!!!!!!!! WTF! I didn’t think about that part! He didn’t wait a second. I ripped them off and he was right there ready to nurse. So, here we are going strong. 26 months and counting.

I remember thinking, can I get this right? Will he latch? Are my boobs too big… Will he suffocate under thereπŸ‘ˆLOL. Well, I guess I got it SO right that it’s lasting forever.

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You’re a blogger, too?

Attachment parenting, Family, Publishing a children's book, Student loan debt

So, I do wear many hats; I get why my friends are constantly asking me “what don’t you do!!??

I don’t do chores very well, I lack the grace.

I also don’t pay my bills on time these days. Hello, people, the struggle is real. Today when I got a notice that my internet and TV was turned off for non-payment I realized a due date wasn’t just a suggestion in the USofA. Century Link is for real, yo.

So, $300.00 later (I definitely didn’t expect to pay that) I may have Internet/TV tomorrow. I seriously DO NOT need nor want the TV service. *Married couples – in the house- it’s a pick your battle sort of thing!? The Internet, well, I guess we need that.

Since we are forced to live without such luxuries for the time being I popped in a DVD!

When is the last time you used a DVD!? Are they slowly becoming the dinosaurs’ VHS cousin?

I chose my favorite movie of all time, well, almost all time, Julie & Julia. First, I had to watch 20 minutes of previews. PREVIEWS!? What on G-d’s green earth??

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When I first watched J & J I loved the movie and felt like I was Julie! We had similar jobs and I was seeking life’s ultimate: success! However, I never imagined I would be a blogger, too.
What the hell did I know about blogging. What the heck do I have to say? Why would anyone read it anyway?

She felt the same way. And look at her now! She set a goal and she achieved it, past her wildest dreams.

She celebrated her 30th in the movie… Now I’m realizing maybe my life is more similar to her now. I’m still in a cube & almost 30. Shit.

I try to dream past my wildest dreams but my reality gets in the way. Namely, bills. I am a slave to these people. The rich-ass-companies that swindle my money and own yachts and pinkie rings.

Who wears a pinkie ring anyway?

One of my favorite parts of J & J is when she has a terrible day and falls apart on the floor, crying like a baby. Man, how many times have I “been there done that”. Too many. I wanted to scream and cry today! It’s not fair I have all these bills and don’t get a penny to myself without fear of retribution.

One day, one day it won’t be so hard, right? I’ll have paid all my debt off and I’ll live within my “means.” Even if those means are measly.

Oh, yea. And my student loans are “a-knockin.'” I read some article that some odd millions were forgiven for student loan debt; too bad that wasn’t mine.

Until then, my little book is hopefully going to be done in a few months. I created a Facebook page for “Loving My Grandmas.” Feel free to check it out, like & share.

Maybe, just maybe, I’ll have a wildest dream story to share.

Until then, no internet/tv or dignity.

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103,101 reasons why your toddler is…

Attachment parenting, confidence, empowerment, Family, Parenting

Totally irreversibly insane!

He gets it from his mama. #sadbuttrue

Okay, I wrote that title days ago and here I am finishing what I started. Do you ever get so distracted with life that you don’t finish the things that bring you joy? For example, if you’re working 9-5 (PS WHO works those hours anymore? More like 7-6) you probably have unfinished projects all over your house or even car. You’ve probably said, “I’ll get to that this weekend or when the kids are on summer vacation.” Isn’t it time to take a stand for all of our unfinished pro…. – as I was writing that last sentence Zaccai woke up from his nap and here I am hours and hours later picking up from where I left off.

How am I supposed to be an awesome blogger with 2 jobs, 1 baby cub, 1 man cub, a house, laundry, grocery shopping, friends, student emails, 15 employees…. ???Blah, blah, blah!

Let’s try to get back…. Where did I leave off? Oh, yes. Start & finish your projects! Why did you start them in the first place? Do they bring you joy? If so, what are you waiting for!? Just do it.

Now, reasons why my toddler is totally insane:

He cries because, well, I’m not sure why- life is too difficult for a 2 year old?

He woke up the other night around 1AM and was so pissed at me (maybe from a dream?) and he decided to yell, scream and cry for over an hour. Then, in an instant he decided he wanted to play with his toys. So, for a few more hours he played and played. What the!!?!!!!

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Then, after my tired, burning, red eyes healed from a night of total exhaustion my mind changed.

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He’s not totally insane, he’s 2 & welcome to motherhood. What’s so annoying is seeing these model like mommas with their perfect houses and perfect husbands. No offense if you are one of those moms (I hear they don’t exist anyway) but “you” mommas make us feel like mom-failures. And my two-year-old-crazy-bat-shit-kid is moderately mediocre in comparison to your beige wearing, flower picking angel.

So, here’s to all the bat-shit-crazy-two-year olds and their crazy-ass-imperfect-mommas!

I spent the afternoon with my sweet momma friend. She quoted a quote that we have all quoted, (read that 5 times fast!)

life is too short

And, she’s right. As we begin to end the year I’m focusing on being thankful for all I have and not dwelling on what I don’t.

I’m thankful to have this blog and people that care enough to read and watch my life unravel & ravel!

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Family Bonding & Nursing a Toddler

Attachment parenting, confidence, Family, Marriage, Mother

I’m not certain when I decided I’d practice attachment parenting –practice being the important word…. But, I must say there are ups & downs.

This morning, my sweet husband says to me, “Now, don’t take this the wrong way….”

Sidebar- a communication scholar would say anyone that positions a conversation with that statement will know that you most likely will take “this” the wrong way.

He continued, “This attachment parenting & breastfeeding thing, I mean it’s cool and all…. But is there an exit plan?”

Man, isn’t that a good question? I mean, I never imagined I would nurse a two year old boy.

In fact, years ago, when I lost 55 pounds, I went to a breast reduction consultation to get my boobs back… You know… And the doctor said, “There may be a great chance you will not be able to breastfeed.” My response, “I don’t care; I don’t want kids.” Then he looked at me like an evil bitch.

Well, obviously things changed and not only did I want a sweet baby but I wanted to now nurse this baby. After my c-section I really struggled even keeping myself awake as the lactation consultant came in an assisted with nursing. I have to tell you, those moments, those first days, weeks and even months were super challenging. I felt as if I couldn’t nurse this kid I would be a failure. I would have failed at one more thing I was supposed to do. So, I did everything in my power to make it work. I would NOT fail at this.

There were nights he cried and so did I. There were moments that I questioned if I was doing the right thing or if he was “getting enough.” My son has always been thin. 6 pounds at birth, 5th percentile for weight his whole life. People around me would say, “maybe you should supplement… or pump to make sure he’s getting enough…” I just ignored them. I knew he was fine. I also have an amazing pediatrician who supported me.

So, here we are almost to his second birthday and I just nursed him to sleep. Maybe some of you are thinking, wow he’s too old for that. Or, he has teeth! He can eat food. Yes. Maybe you’re right. But try denying your child comfort and security. I bet you wouldn’t.

I read this mom’s story about her weaning her son. And I cried. I really do not plan to nurse too much longer but I also didn’t plan to nurse until two.

So, back to my husband’s question: this attachment parenting weaning method… Well, we’re going to get there. How? I don’t know. All I know is I fought to get this nursing thing right and I freaking NAILED it! I couldn’t be more proud of myself. Not one ounce of formula*. I dedicated hours to pumping oz upon oz at work and even had to boil, ice, deliver when my milk started to sour (I was producing some extra enzyme or something that was turning my milk and he refused it. I had to dump 50 oz of stored milk after we discovered the problem!)

When Z is ready, I’ll be ready. To me, nursing an infant is needed for survival; nursing a toddler is needed for comfort and confidence.

I also have to say, I’m proud of my husband for understanding his child’s needs. Not all husbands would be supportive of this. He is. Now, I’m sure he’d love the boobs to himself… But sharing is caring.

How long did you nurse your baby? How did you/they wean?

*I do not judge formula feeding moms! You do what you have to do and each mom has their own reasons for nursing or not. Be confident in your choices because they are yours!

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Oh, hello, Ocotober

Attachment parenting, Family, Marginalized individuals, Marriage, Mother, Parenting, Small Business

Where the hell did September go!? I’m pretty sure it was the shortest month ever! My bank account can confirm that. It’s been an extremely stressful month financially and at one point I’m pretty sure I hit my breaking point.

I should have broke something to feel better, damn.

Mostly, I’m working my ass off and getting out of muddy, thick ass water. No. More like sludge. Isn’t this thing called life funny? And when I say funny, I mean: utterly exhausting and depressing at times. Now, I can never say I’ve been clinically depressed – so you don’t need to worry about me in that way – but I’ve had my bouts with feeling sorry for myself here and there.

Yesterday was my day. It started when I was strong enough to check my checking account (downhill from there). I’m pretty sure the bank is enjoying their overdraft fees and return check fees they have been collecting from me! Then, systems were not working at work and text from friends come through about awesome things going on in their lives and I just wanted to lose it! PS… I love my friends and all their awesome things, but at the moment it felt very crippling.

Meanwhile, 800 numbers are calling me like lost EX boyfriends that have finally found their way! I considered answering them and using my communication skills to get the caller to pay my monthly bill. Nah, no time for that.

Anyway, you’re getting the gist of the financial stress. BUT, in good faith and measure, I NOW have a plan of attack. Sort of. I have a small little business plan that will give me money up front and help immediately. It came about so fast that I’m not even sure I prayed long enough for it to happen! But, here we go- I’ll enjoy the ride. I’ll post all about this little business venture in my next post over the weekend. For now, just know I have a financial plan to help my family.

Because if I get another freaking call, “Hello, this is Chase calling to discuss your bill.” I’ll scream! Or, “this is ATT calling to discuss your payment on your wireless bill.” Grrrrrr. Sadly, these recordings are memorized and very much avoided!

I never meant to be a shitty-ass borrower, but here I am.

Now, on the up and up. I’m healthy, smart and beautiful and have so much to offer this world!

How did I turn it around and not bring my shitty attitude home to my husband and child? That’s the important question.

I had a meeting with an executive at my company and she and I drive the same passions, advocacy and forward thinking. We talked and talked about change and community improvement. We deeply connected and planned a 2015 travel “mission” together. ME! The EXECUTIVE! TRAVEL! TOGETHER! Well, there was one slight agreement… She wants to co-parent Zaccai. I said……… deal! πŸ˜‰

Seriously, I was energized. I came home with the best happy-go-lucky attitude and enjoyed my family.

What a day! It went from terrible to the best- because of one conversation. Seriously, people, be the change you want to see in the world.

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Happy Birthday, here’s to twenty nine

Attachment parenting, Family, Marriage, Mother, Parenting, Publishing a children's book, Small Business, Uncategorized

It’s the real twenty nine, just in case you were wondering.

This post is going to be completely about me. Let’s hope I can stay true to that promise!

Often I blog about Zaccai, work, life challenges, and my husband/marriage. But, I haven’t spend much time just focusing on ME.

As a partner/lover and even friend, I create so much positivity/energy and dump 100% into these people. But, what about ME?

I often forget I have needs, desires and even dreams.

So, here today, I’m going to share these with you. And, I’ll be completely honest {even share my life’s fears}.

From infancy to 29, I’ve always been fabulous. Even when I was 55 pounds overweight, I was fabulous. Maybe not to the rest of the world, but I knew better.

Some moments in my life that shaped who I am today:

My parents first nasty fight. I was probably about 3 or 4. I heard them arguing and knew I needed to get them to see eye to eye, at 3 or 4. I went into the kitchen, stood in the middle and yelled, “stop!!!!” They quickly sent me back to my room; hey, a girls gotta try.

At 6, my parents separated and my dad moved us kids to Japan. No mom. Who knows the complete story, if there is one…? My dad has his side, my mom has her side and the rest of the family has a side. Who cares, at this point I was without a mom and I raised my 2 brothers. At 6.

Ages 8-12 my parents fought over custody and I was in the middle. Literally. The boys wanted to live with my mom and I wanted to keep the peace. I felt bad telling either parent who I really wanted to live with. Dad won. Then, mom won. We cried. Tears of joy, mostly, but, my heart broke for my dad. Divorces are hard on everyone.

During the custody battle time my mom came out of the closet and Linda became officially known as mom’s girlfriend. We loved Linda.

Age 14. Linda and mom broke up after years and years of being together. I said to my mom, “why does everyone we love leave us.” At that moment, I didn’t want anyone else to come close to our family for fear they would leave, abandon us.

Age 16. I moved in with my grandmother and my mom lived in Chicago for work. My mom met an amazing woman, Norma. My dad, stepmom and brothers lived in Japan.. and I enjoyed the freedom my grandmother gave us… She was the cool granny!

Age 17. I went to college. I never thought I’d make it that far.

Age 21. I joined WW and lost 55 pounds. Where did that come from!?

Age 23. I graduated with a master’s degree. 102 k debt, thank you.

Age 25. Married my sweet husband.

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Age 26-27 Baby on the way!

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Age 27. Zaccai.

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Age 28. Our life has changed forever.

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What’s in for 29!? I’m publishing a book and hoping for some funding- next post I’ll share. I’m hoping for an exciting new position at work, maybe! I’m hoping for a stronger year of marriage and debt pay-off… Please, please, please, debt pay-off in my future!

Isn’t life a journey? It’s insane and I want things to quiet before they get insane, again! #ellen2015

5 second rule, makes sense.

Attachment parenting, Cloth diaper, Family, Mother, Publishing a children's book, Small Business

This past weekend little Mr. Z and I met a girlfriend on her layover and brought her to our favorite lunching spot. La Grande Orange AKA LGO or as my mom likes to call it, “Grange.” It always makes me smile when she says that.

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Well, I have to admit, terrible twos set in at LGO. Zaccai was crawling all over the ground (I hear reverting to baby stage can be normal…???) that was a statement as well as a question. To “distract” him I gave him (what I think is) the most amazing cupcake EVER… And that little shit threw it on the ground. Now, my gf was there and I’m not 5….
So, when she asked me if we can just throw it away, I wanted to exclaim “5 second RULE!!” Duh. But, sadly, we tossed it.

How can this sweet little boy turn into the gremlin monster and terrorize my life!? It only lasts about 15-20 minutes max but MAN are tensions high during the melt downs.

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Not only is he experiencing mood swings (lord knows these aren’t going away anytime soon) but he also refuses to GO TO SLEEP! Oh, my, goodness! For the love! This kid isn’t in bed until 12-1AM! Now, he’s a night owl and I’ve gotten used to 10PM bed time routine but all of the sudden, it’s into the wee hours of the morning. This week has been worse than the first three months- sleep wise. I am NOT an advocate for CIO or sleep training- don’t even suggest these methods… But, sadly, I’ve questioned my parenting- YET again. This. On. Paper. Is so easy. This. In. Real. Life. Is a shit show.

Then, he smiles. And, my tired, grumpy eyes smile too.

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Don’t get my wrong, I’ve lost it. He’s cried. I’ve cried. I have tried to have crucial conversations with a TWO year old. btw- to all my colleagues, that doesn’t work. shit. I’ve called/texted my girlfriends and our discussions are something like this: Is this normal? He hit me and I tried to redirect, then he hit me over and over and I spanked him back. I said I would NEVER spank. She scratched me. She pulled my hair. Then, after the tantrum, our sweet children come back.

I’ve become a parent I never thought I’d be. It’s like that adult phase of finally liking (maybe loving) garlic and onions….. I said I would NEVER do these things. But, remember, on paper………

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Sweet cloth bum.

The newest with my book: we are in “book” format and illustrations are underway next week. It should be a three month process! How exciting. In the meantime, I’m working on amping up social media & getting the word out. I’m manifesting being on Ellen as well. She has to WANT me on her show!!!!!